


Dear Bianca

by asterismos



Series: tu sei il mio soldatino [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Depression, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Letters, Non-Linear Narrative, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sleep Deprivation, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-18 23:12:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4723844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asterismos/pseuds/asterismos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mortal AU — Nico doesn't want to see a therapist, but he gets talked into doing so. Then, his therapist concludes that Nico never really allowed himself the opportunity to properly grieve over his sister's death. Nico disagrees but relents to the therapist's recommendation (demand, actually) to keep a journal or diary to write letters to his sister. Nico doesn't realize it, but it helps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Entry #1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what I was thinking. Keep tissues handy.

 

* * *

 

03 September 2015

Dear Bianca,

     This is really stupid.

     Will made me see a therapist and now Dr. Asclepius wants me to write  _letters._ He claims it will help me "grieve" and "move on" like I hadn't given myself the chance previously. It's really stupid. His entire theory (that I haven't grieved properly or whatever) is stupid. But he insisted. So here I am.

     Where was I? Oh. Yeah.

     Alright, so since you passed, life's kind of been haywire. I went through a bout of depression when I was eleven. I hated Percy. Or I tried to, at least. I blamed him for your death. God, I hated him. I hated myself. I refused to dwell on your death, though. It was easier to bury the sadness and just be mad. I  _was_ mad. The next year, I got better. I got a lot better. I forgave Percy and even helped him with some personal struggles. It was hard to come to terms with my sexuality, with my crush on Percy, but I eventually did. It took a long time though.

     Oh, by the way, I'm gay. Will's my boyfriend. I suppose you'll want to know how I met him, huh? It's a long story, but we basically just met through mutual friends. At first, I was so irritated by him. God, I hated his guts. He would flirt with me  _all the time_ and it just got on my nerves. Then we kissed one time and, well, now we're dating. Hazel (our half-sister) (we have a half-sister, by the way) says we're cute. I'm not cute but Will definitely is.

     I'm sixteen now. You'd be nineteen, I think.

     Dad and I don't talk about you that much, which really sucks. I know he misses you, even though he won't admit it. He's just trying to stay strong, keep his political reputation or whatever. I don't know. He really misses you. A lot of people miss you. I miss you too. A lot. Sometimes, I go into your old bedroom and lay on your bed just like old times. I'll shut my eyes and it's almost like you're there too. But you're not. And it really sucks.

     I have to go now. Will and I are going to see a new movie.

 

Mi manchi,     

Nico     

 

* * *

 


	2. Entry #2

* * *

 

09 September 2015

Dear Bianca,

     My doctor says that yes, this has to be a consistent thing, so here I am again. I still think this is ridiculous. It's not like there's anyone responding or even _listening_ for that matter. You're dead and there's no way around that. I just don't think he gets it. The pain of losing you is never going to go away. I mean, yeah, I'm happier now. I'm not angry anymore. But it's not like I'm suddenly going to be okay. It's never going to be okay. Not without you, anyway. And it's ridiculous that he thinks I will be. People don't change overnight, and I'm no exception.

     Yesterday, Percy and Annabeth dragged Will and me on a double date. It was actually pretty fun. We went to the county fair and went on a bunch of rides. Well, I did. Will had too many hot dogs and kind of got rid of them the hard way... So I made him sit out. I was going to stay with him but he insisted. It wasn't much fun without him. (Alright, that's not true but still.)

      Next week, Hazel and I are going to a protest. Lately, she's become really involved in the whole Black Lives Matter activism, which I think is pretty cool. She and Frank (her boyfriend) can get really passionate about what they believe in. I'm glad she's found something to invest time in. She used to always complain about having nothing interesting to do. Now, she complains about society's ridiculous standards and social injustice. Anyway, next week we're going to one in downtown LA. If I remember correctly, we'll be saying "I can't breathe" twelve times and then laying across the ground. I don't remember what else. Hazel probably knows though.

      The week after that, Will's dragging me to some music festival, which is also in LA. I think we're just going to stay in LA that entire week. It'll be much easier and we'll be able to go to the beach throughout the week. I'm not too big of a fan of sun but I love the ocean.

      I don't really know what else to say. This is still dumb.

      Whatever.

 

Mi manchi,

Nico

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, "mi manchi" means "I miss you" in Italian.
> 
> Let me know what you think...x

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy the story!
> 
> Also, you should totally check out the novel I'm working on, Beyond the Trees: https://www.wattpad.com/story/75854686-beyond-the-trees-book-one  
> I guarantee you will not regret it.
> 
> All the love,  
> Cass xx


End file.
